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As Conan O’Brien expressed in his 2011 Dartmouth graduation speech, “Whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.”
So how do you, after the disappointment of not getting a promotion, move forward into a space of clarity [and happiness]?
Acknowledge Yourself: First and foremost, acknowledge yourself for being vulnerable and opening up to the possibility of rejection. Some people might equate the word “vulnerable” to weakness, but as author, speaker and researcher Brené Brown tells us, vulnerability is an “emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty…[y]our most accurate measurement of courage.” Now is the time to recognize your courage and let the disappointment fuel your fire, spurring momentum and growth.
Make An Honest Assessment: Feeling disillusioned about your industry, company, boss – or all three? Not getting a job can provide an opportunity to take a brutally honest look at what does and does not work for you. Take stock of your office culture: Do you excel in this environment? Do you feel respected and valued? Will the type of work you’re doing fulfill you long-term (or, at the least – does your boss’ work seem fulfilling?). There’s another opportunity brewing, so use this time to get clear on your needs. Doing so will aid you in brainstorming jobs and companies that align closely with your most efficient working style.
See the Bigger Picture: Find comfort in the fact that on the grand spectrum of your life, this will eventually just be a stepping-stone that led to your next endeavor. Your life’s work is much, much greater than any particular job or company. Find the common thread in your interests. What challenges energize you? Is there something larger than yourself that you care deeply about? How can your unique talents contribute to it? Job searching is far more productive when directed from a place of purpose and inspired energy rather than a place of frustration.
Tap Into Your Inner Strength: It’s incredibly freeing to tap into and call on your own inner strength during this time and appreciate all that you embody outside of this role. This job, your next job – any job – does not define you. It’s just one component of your complex, multifaceted self. Check in and make sure you’re not stuck in a victim mode of feeling sorry for yourself. Replaying the negative experience in your mind only prolongs your suffering and zaps mental energy that could be directed towards taking action. What stories are you telling yourself (and others) about what happened? Shift your focus to next steps instead.
Channel Gratitude: Now, more so than ever, take stock of the people who matter most in your life. Appreciate your support system as the constant, since your close relationships are far more critical to your prolonged happiness than this one job. Feeling your gratitude for all of the good people in your life puts everything into perspective.
In my experience, not getting a promotion was incredibly disheartening and frustrating, but led to incredible growth. Acknowledging my courage, career path, bigger picture, resilience and gratitude lead to fulfilling work more aligned with my values. It wasn’t easy or pleasant at first, but it certainly left me feeling thankful and inspired.
About Megan
Megan Ladd is a multi-passionate writer, community builder, retreat planner, photographer and corporate 9-6’er. She is fueled by living fully, making meaningful contributions, and inspiring others to do the same. A perpetual optimist, she loves motivational talks, quotable quotes, SNL impressions, and pretty much anything related to personal growth and development.
