by Svetlana Saitsky
A friend of mine is a psychologist with a unique ability to listen to me ramble on for long periods of time and then untangle everything by saying something simple, true, and which captures the essence of my dilemma. A few days ago we were talking about some of my current confusion, as it pertains to my career and love life. After I finished speaking, she looked at me and said, “ so in summary, you are looking for balance but…”
“But what?” I asked. “Exactly “ she replied. She continued with, “get rid of the but.”
I took a deep breath and thought about what she said. Why was there always a “but?” I spend a great deal of time trying to find balance in love, in life, at work and between all of the important areas of my life. And I admit, there often appears to be a “ but” at the end of my sentence. I've spoken to many people recently who too seem to be seeking balance, but something keeps getting in the way. This appears to be an epidemic.
So what can be done about it, I wondered?
"How do I get rid of the 'but'?" I asked Vicki. And here was her response: “ with you, it’s always been black or white. But it’s neither black of white, it’s bright!” I smiled because I hadn't heard this before. When I think of things being black of white, the only other option that appeared in my mind is of things being grey, and that blandness of being “grey” has never appealed to me. The idea of color however - yes that appeals to me very much.
My friend is right; I have always been a woman of extremes. That middle spot has never been one I've desired, and in fact it’s been a place I have specifically turned away from. I’ve always preferred things intense, highly energetic, big, and powerful. The downside of all those extremes is that there is always an opposite side, and that other side is not nearly as fun.
In the past, finding balance meant giving up all the highs and lows in order to be in some grey middle, and even as I write this I think, “no!” I would rather be high and low than grey. But when Vicky pointed out that the opposite of black and white is bright, I realized that there might be another way of looking at the same issue.
Perhaps instead of seeing the two extremes, I could see balance as a Kaleidoscope of choices including all the colors of the rainbow. It’s not about being on the far left, far right or smack in the middle. There is so much room for choice in between, and approaching life’s questions and concerns while remembering the variety of choices in between the extremes and the middle; that shift in perspective is helping me remove the “but” from the end of my sentences and come closer to finding balance.
I’m inspired to expand beyond the color palate that I currently live in and I hope that this piece has inspired you to do the same. Adding some new color into your life might very well help you realize that there are so many out there to choose from, and by looking within, you’ll find the shade that works best for you.
Svetlana Saitsky is a Creative Iconoclast who strives to inspire through her work as a photographer and writer. With her entrepreneurial spirit, business school education, corporate experience and artistic savvy, Svetlana combines left-brain intellect with right-brain creativity and resides in San Francisco, CA while working on her first book on Inspiration. A modern day Renaissance woman, Svetlana believes in exploring a variety of passions daily and when she is not taking photographs or writing, you might find her salsa dancing, singing, eating avocados and hanging out in coffee shops all over town. To explore Svetlana’s work, please visit her here!