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Summary: Comparing one's salary to co-workers that make more is a habit connected with unhappiness.
Key Take Aways:
- Comparing oneself to others often generates unhappiness.
- The tendency of the mind to compare may be typical, but it can be changed.
- The practice of mindfulness can reduce comparisons that lead to unhappiness.
Research conducted in Spain on happiness in the workplace found unhappiness was linked to comparing one's own salary to those of co-workers who make more. The research also found people who made less than their co-workers were motivated to work more in order to increase their own pay. If the research conclusions are accurate, is the key insight simply that envy makes people unhappy? Wanting what other people have leads to no longer appreciating what you have?
What is certain about these kinds of research studies is that they seem to generate more questions than answers. Fortunately, there is a sort of answer or key concept that may apply to help understand how to not be unhappy due to the tendency we generally seem to have to compare, and therefore make ourselves unhappy. The Buddhist term 'comparing mind' references the activity of constantly comparing ourselves or what we have to others and what they have.
"With comparing mind, there is an attachment, a “stickiness’ to the mental event. Attention is captured through craving and clinging, and the self is coalesced around this attachment, elaborating a story and reacting impulsively." (Source: OrlandoInsightMediation)
For example, a simple day at the beach might turn into a festival of mental comparisons. Comparing one's own physical appearance to the other beachgoers surely will result in some suffering or smug satisfaction. Both of these feelings cause us to be removed from happiness though because it usually is related to being less attached to selfish views and self-consciousness.
Similarly, if we if we spend countless hours at work feeling angry about having less money or imagining we are inferior to co-workers who make more, we are probably creating our own unhappiness. Though we may mentally be blaming a situation we interpret as unfair, the tendency of the mind to focus on comparisons that lead to unhappiness plays a strong role. Fortunately, there is a sort of antidote to the habit of comparison and it is the practice of mindfulness, which is also called meditation.
Using a regular meditation practice allows us to observe our thoughts and be less attached to them, so the emotional reactions are less or even reduced to nothing. While some people may not appreciate meditating while sitting with their eyes closed, there are other options available such as Tai Chi and even Yoga, depending on the style.
Image Credit: Twid, Danish
